Checkout by Elise Hepner

Story: 6
Presentation: 6.5
Total: 12.5
Publisher: eXcessica

Blurb: Hardcore punk rocker Jennifer's been exiled from her safe, far away college back to her small town. The trouble started when she was caught having sex with her college adviser, Paul-by the Dean of Students. All she wants to do is damn the man and the trouble has just kept coming. She's forced by her socialite parents to work the night shift in her local grocery store while feigning off come-on's from customers and a circa 1950's boss.

But things get more complicated when Paul comes back into town for a little stop-and-shop. Jennifer is forced to confront their growing master/slave relationship and the mounting feelings she's been harboring all summer. Meanwhile, Paul the good ol' boy whose grown up playing football and exuding charm is ready to put Jennifer's smart little mouth to work. All she wants is for him to stay. But he won't take anything from her without a price.

Warnings: This title contains graphic m/f/m sexual situations, spanking, a high level of dominance, and submission play.

Review: For a short story, Checkout has all the makings for a hot little teaser. I have to say I was disappointed. The blurb has more story content than the actual story. I love Excessica’s sinfully wicked short stories of sex. Tightly written titillation. Turn me on and leave me breathless. I don’t even need that much “plot, story or characterization” if I know I’m getting a little sex on paper. I love it. Checkout had potential. I felt like there was more interchange between the customer Jennifer blew off than there was between her and Paul. At times the choreography was difficult to visualize. While Ms. Hepner is clearly talented in her writing ability, this story didn’t come together for me. There was also repeated misuse of words that became distracting.

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